My Favorite "Office" quotes

Michael: I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious.

Michael: What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away? I will answer your question with a question. It's like, what happens to a chicken when you take its head away? It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.

Michael: Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.

Dwight: No, don't call me a hero. Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs, and get a distress call from the commissioner, and take off their glasses and change into capes, and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.

Dwight: I saw “Wedding Crashers” accidentally. I bought a ticket for “Grizzly Man” and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Cause that’s the thing about bear attacks…they come when you least expect it.

Jim: After you, sirDwight: No thank you, I never let anyone walk behind me. 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear.Jim: Okay, that still leaves a 30% chance that I'll attack you from the front.Dwight: Uh, yeah, but it'll be easier to stop. I can always block the blow and counter it - (Jim slaps him and walks away smiling)

Dwight: What is Michael Scott's greatest fear?Ryan: Loneliness... maybe women.Dwight: Wrong. Michael Scott isn't afraid of anything. [pause] Also, I would have accepted 'snakes.'